ļ»æ00:01 - Angela (Host)
Are you an aspiring leader who knows you have more to offer but you can't seem to get ahead? Do you frequently feel overwhelmed and under-supported? Listen to the Overcome to Become podcast as we talk about actionable tasks and mindsets that you can apply to begin leading yourself. Hi, I'm Dr Angela Buckley, your host and author of the Strength in Nature Leadership Series and Likeable Leadership Reflection Journals. I'm a mother, consultant, triathlete and coach In Overcome to Become. I share with you the science-backed and experienced proven lessons I've learned in my own leadership journey to beat burnout.
00:38
Hello, welcome back to Overcome to Become, where we explore the journeys that empower us to reach our fullest potential. I'm your host, dr Angela Buckley, and I am thrilled to kick off season five with a topic that is incredibly vital in today's world setting boundaries. In this first episode, we are going to dive deep into what boundaries are, why they matter and how understanding this concept can help us combat burnout and embrace the power of a confident no. So let's just start with the basics. What are boundaries exactly? Boundaries are the limits that we set for ourselves in relationships, work and life. They define our personal space, emotional capacity and overall well-being. Think of boundaries as the line of protection for our mental health and our values. But here's the thing. Boundaries can be physical, emotional or mental. For instance, a physical boundary could be the need for personal space at home. After a long day, I often think about retreating to the bedroom, walking over to my favorite little book nook where I get to read for a while, or sitting outside in the quiet on the back porch right Some personal space that indicates to others that I need a little bit of downtime. And emotional boundaries might involve what we're willing to share with ourselves and with others.
02:10
I'm mindful of a reference to Tuesdays with Maury, in which the author tells a story about Maury as he is sharing his life development. He's willing to share everything. Maury is an open book, quite literally, but his wife is not. She is more reserved and she does not prefer to have her life story shared with the world. And when he comes upon a point in the story where it involves her, he will pull back and he says I don't think she wants me to share that, so we'll move on to a different part of the story. And he always is very good about honoring his wife's boundaries, and that is very important. And so here's the thing why are these boundaries so crucial? One of the most pressing reasons is to help prevent burnout. When we say yes to everything, we are stretching ourselves too thin. Think about that rubber band that stretches. Eventually you lose the stretch right, so this leads to exhaustion and disengagement.
03:17
Boundaries can protect our time and our energy. Boundaries are essential for maintaining our mental health. They allow us to prioritize our needs and prevent the feelings of being overwhelmed. And that's a crucial point To truly recharge and operate from a place of strength, we have to advocate for ourselves. The empowered no becomes a powerful tool for self-care. So let's talk about this. No, it can be daunting. Many people struggle with the fear of disappointing others or feeling guilty. However, learning to say no when our plate is already full is a cornerstone of setting healthy boundaries. When we say no to what doesn't serve us, we're really saying yes to our well-being, and it's about reclaiming our time and focus. So Saying no does not make us selfish. It signifies self-respect, it signals self-respect. It's about recognizing our limits and taking intentional steps to protect our time and our energy.
04:26
To wrap up today's episode, let's discuss some practical steps for setting boundaries. One identify your limits. Take some time to reflect on what feels overwhelming, what situations or people drain your energy? I love to talk about vampires, energy vampires. Right, if you are in my personal space and you are constantly draining my energy, I call you an energy vampire and I limit your access to my life and to my time because I only have so much energy to share and I need to share where I am serving others and doing good things for myself and for the people around me.
05:09
Two communicate clearly. Once you've identified your limits, practice communicating them clearly and respectfully. I used to have a friend who loved to go down this little pipe and talk about the same problem over and over again and there was no resolution. I know that she needed to process this time and it was important for her to process this time, and so we set time limits on how long we were going to discuss to allow some of the emotion to get out. But because it was a discussion and a venting session, we did not allow that to take over the entire evening. So we set a time limit on it and we communicated it clearly. We will talk about this topic today for five minutes. Let's acknowledge that the emotions are there and then we're going to move on. Communicating clearly is helpful to your friendships as well.
06:08
Three practice self-reflection. Regularly. Check in with yourself about boundaries. Are they being honored? Are there adjustments that need to be made? And this goes both directions. Are you honoring the boundaries that people around you are setting as well as are they honoring your boundaries? This is harder with children because they struggle a little bit more to understand what those boundaries are. But it's our job to also role model that. But it's important to have those conversations with the adults and the friends and the relationships that are in your life that they are also honoring your boundaries. So practice that self-reflection of how that's all working within those relationships.
06:55
And fourth, stay consistent. Remember boundaries are not a one-time conversation. Be consistent in upholding them for lasting change. Also, be a little bit flexible. Recognize that your boundaries may change based on your needs. Recognize that boundaries may change based on your needs. Recognize that boundaries may change based on seasons, based on projects, based on the way children are growing in your life. We always know that there's a lot of adjustments associated with that. Be consistent in going through all of these steps identifying your limits, communicating them clearly, practicing that self-reflection and being consistent in that entire wrap-up so that your boundaries are something that take care of you. As we begin this next season, remember that setting boundaries is a courageous act of self-love. It's an essential tool that we can all use to protect our mental health and empower our daily lives.
07:59
Thank you for joining me today on Overcome to Become. Don't forget to subscribe, share and leave a review if you found today's episode helpful. Join us next time as we delve deeper into the various types of boundaries and how to navigate them effectively in our relationships. Until next time, embrace your empowered no and remember setting boundaries is a journey towards becoming your best self. You've just listened to another episode of Overcome to Become. Thank you for joining me, angela Buckley, your host, as we explored actions and mindsets to overcome the overwhelm and beat burnout. Did you know that when you learn to lead yourself, you can effectively learn to lead others? You can apply these skills in your home, at work and in the community. If you'd like to learn more, join us in the Strength in Nature Learning Academy. We are currently featuring the Overcome the Overwhelm course with a 20% off coupon code OTB2024. That's valid until the end of 2024. You can join me in my community at wwwstrengthennaturecom, and on Instagram at creativelyefficient. Thanks for listening. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
