ļ»æ00:01 - Dr. Angela J. Buckley (Host)
Are you an aspiring leader who knows you have more to offer but you can't seem to get ahead? Do you frequently feel overwhelmed and under-supported? Listen to the Overcome to Become podcast as we talk about actionable tasks and mindsets that you can apply to begin leading yourself. Hi, I'm Dr Angela Buckley, your host and author of the Strength in Nature Leadership Series and Likeable Leadership Reflection Journals. I'm a mother, consultant, triathlete and coach In Overcome to Become. I share with you the science-backed and experienced proven lessons I've learned in my own leadership journey to beat burnout.
00:37
Hello and welcome to Overcome to Become, your go-to podcast for personal and professional growth. I'm your host, dr Angela Buckley, and today we are focusing on celebrating the small wins in setting and establishing boundaries. We've navigated difficult conversations, we've built a robust support system and we've communicated our past needs. We've talked about all of these in our last episodes. Let's focus on how we can practice gratitude and reinforcement using the spirit method of acknowledgement. The spirit of celebrating small wins is so important. Because celebrating small wins in boundary setting is crucial. Psychological research emphasizes that recognizing and rewarding small achievements can significantly boost motivation and commitment. And why does that matter? According to Teresa Amabile's research on the progress principle, even small accomplishments can enhance emotions and drive further progress, and why that is super important to us is that it's bringing everyday positive energy and it is directly in contrast to the setbacks that people experience and then the negative emotions and energy drain that is associated with that. So we want to really practically apply this by regularly acknowledging these small wins, by writing them down and sharing them with a trusted friend and mentor. We also want to practice the gratitude in boundary setting, because gratitude is a powerful tool in reinforcing those positive behaviors and creating a supportive environment. So when you're expressing gratitude, thank those around you who respect and support your boundaries. This not only strengthens the relationships, but also fosters a culture of mutual respect.
02:40
When we talk about self-gratitude, we also talk about taking the time to acknowledge our own efforts and progress. Self-compassion enhances resilience and perseverance in the process. So what does this look like? When we're talking about gratitude, we're also talking about self-worth, and in order to truly be grateful for the things that are around us, even when we are in difficult times, then we're taking the time to say I am worth it. I am worth the time to pause, I am worth the time to recognize the good within the bad. This isn't an issue of this toxic positivity that people talk about, where you can't recognize it or simply always say, well, look for the silver lining. We are not looking at gratitude as a platitude, but we are trying to really focus and hone in on our values and the value of ourself and valuing ourself.
03:45
Those are kind of three different, very specific and individual topics that we can come back to at some point. If you have questions or you'd like to talk about that, certainly feel free to drop me a line. And then how do we do that? So expressing gratitude can really have a method, right, it's talking about the situation, it talks about the behaviors and then it brings in the intent of looking for those good behaviors. And so we've put together the spirit method of acknowledgement, and it's super important to help you just really kind of create a method or an equation almost of writing and delivering a very powerful thank you note.
04:35
And so SPIRIT is an acronym. It stands for specific, personal, impactful, relevant, inclusive and timely. Let's break down each one of those and what we're kind of looking for. So when we talk about specific, be specific about the behavior that you're acknowledging. Be specific about the behavior that you're acknowledging. Research shows that specificity helps others understand exactly what actions are valued. And being clear this is a clarity issue. If you're saying thank you because we were on time, perhaps a more clear statement might be thank you that you had all of your documents prepared. Thank you that you sent me the documents the night before so that I had time to review them. It's being more specific than just saying great, we were on time, but what were the specific actions that led you to be on time?
05:41
And then we move on to personal. Personal. Make your acknowledgement personal to enhance its sincerity and impact. It's important that you're recognizing the person in your gratitude approach, so tailoring your feedback to that individual fosters this sense of personal connection and commitment. I really like to tie that back to that individual's personal values. But it also requires that I know that person and highlight that person's values when I'm tying those gratitude statements in. And so that forces me to take a pause and get to know the person that I'm thanking in a slightly more in-depth manner instead of just a passing thank you right, tying it into something that definitely drives into their categories that they value.
06:40
Then we move on from personal to impactful. Now impactful can have slightly different meanings depending on whether you're really thanking them from an organizational perspective or if you're thanking your friends at home right. But when you talk about this, we're going to highlight the impact of their respect for your boundaries and what that has for you and the environment around you, and this really reinforces the significance of their actions. When we're talking about a specific thank you that's tied into an organization, then we really want to tie those also into the company or organization's key performance metrics. Is it productivity, is it safety? Is it how? So every organization has a list of values and key performance metrics that they use to measure themselves, for success, to measure themselves for success. Good leadership and a powerful thank you and acknowledgement will tie all of these very specific actions into the bottom line KPIs key performance indicators. So take a look at that and see how you can tie this thank you into these KPIs.
08:01
We move from impactful to relevance and relevant and making sure that your acknowledgement is relative to the context and it aligns the overarching goals and values. Again, relevance can be slightly different. If you're delivering a personal gratitude statement versus an organizational gratitude statement, the relevance increases its perceived importance and effectiveness, because when you're talking about the relevance for a person. You're talking again. You're tying that back to how that impacts the overall boundaries. In this case, if it is hi, I appreciate that you have a good quiet time or that you don't call me after 7 pm so I can have a quiet time in the evening which leads me to have a more productive day the following day. That's relevance, and you can tie the relevance in an organizational thank you to thank you very much. I need to tie this back to my company values and our company values safety, and when I am fully rested I can bring my full energy to work and work safely. So tying that back in relevance is more on the value side.
09:23
Impactful has a lot more to do with metrics. So we've talked about specific personal impactful and relevance and we move now to the second I of inclusive. Inclusive is creating an inclusive environment and atmosphere by encouraging everyone to participate in the boundary setting and the acknowledgement processes. This inclusion promotes a collective effort and a shared success, but it's doing a little bit more. It's highlighting for the people who aren't sure what good behavior looks like that you can provide some of that clarity by praising and acknowledging a person in public, you're including all of the other team members family members, friends and letting them be seen that this is the good behavior that I am hoping for, expecting, wishing for, asking for. So it matters that you're highlighting and using a little bit of this positive pull instead of negative pushing on whatever the behavior is that you're expecting.
10:42
In our case, we've been talking a little bit about evening kind of close down time, shut down time. So you would like to say, if you're in front of the family, you would say in front of everyone, maybe around the dinner table thank you for your quiet time in the evening. It allows me to get the rest I need so I can be fully present for you in the morning. Or maybe you say these things in a team setting. If you're in a manufacturing or a 24-7 type operation, you might say thank you for not calling me after 7 pm. I understand that if there's a clear emergency you can always reach me, but for all these little things, I'm glad that you've developed the skills that you've been empowered to make these decisions without calling me at home. Up the skills that you've been empowered to make these decisions without calling me at home. Therefore, I can be better present and supportive and productive, the following day, right Understanding that you're praising and praising that in front of a team so that other people can understand the expected behavior.
11:50
And then T stands for timely Provide acknowledgement promptly after the behavior occurs. Timely feedback is more likely to reinforce desired behaviors effectively, partially because there's an emotional high that is always occurring and you really want to tie your acknowledgement and your focus to this timeliness so that you can tie into some of those high emotions and it really continues to sort of draw some of that out. It's very important and it's very supportive of the team and, in particular, of the individual. I understand in really big projects that's often very difficult to do. There's so many ups and downs and you don't always understand what the impact is until the very end. So our opportunity is to understand what those tiny little activities and behaviors are that lead to a successful wrap-up of a project and make sure that we're highlighting these good behaviors all along so that when we get to the end we have a successful resolution of the project and those can be different types of acknowledgements later on.
13:08
So that wraps up our discussion of spirit and specific and personal and impactful, relevant, inclusive and timely acknowledging these small pull activities instead of negative push activities. So what do we want to do with this? We really ideally practice the spirit method on a regular basis and tie these into the everyday activities, and how we're going to do that. It doesn't require these big, grandiose gestures, but it requires us to be consistent and apply this in our daily life. One tip that we can offer is using the spirit method in both professional and personal interactions to reinforce and celebrate boundaries consistently. The other thing that we can do is use this as part of our reflective practice in the mornings Regularly reflect on the feedback that you've given or received and assess ways to improve and adapt your approach. Celebrating small wins and practicing gratitude are integral steps to a successful boundary setting. By using the spirit method of acknowledgement, we can encourage positive changes and strengthen our relationships.
14:34
Thank you for joining me today on Overcome to Become. If you found value in this episode, feel free to share it with those who might benefit from reinforcing their boundary-setting journey. Until next time, keep striving for small steps and big wins. You've just listened to another episode of Overcome to Become. Thank you for joining me, angela Buckley, your host, as we explored actions and mindsets to overcome the overwhelm and beat burnout. Did you know that when you learn to lead yourself, you can effectively learn to lead others? You can apply these skills in your home, at work and in the community. If you'd like to learn more, join us in the Strength in Nature Learning Academy. We are currently featuring the Overcome the Overwhelm course with a 20% off coupon code OTB2024. That's valid until the end of 2024. You can join me in my community at wwwstrengthinnaturecom, and on Instagram at creatively efficient. Thanks for listening. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
