00:01 - Dr. Angela J. Buckley (Host)
Leaders, has every leadership training left you feeling drained? In Overcome to Become, we focus on values-based leadership so you no longer feel overwhelmed and under-supported. Listen here to find actionable tips and mindsets you can apply to begin leading yourself. Hi, my name is Dr Angela J Buckley, your host and author of the Likeable Leadership Series. I am a mother, consultant and author. In Overcome to Become, we discuss leadership topics that align with the three pillars of character, community and capability to execute.
00:38
Hello and welcome back to Overcome to Become with Dr Angela J Buckley. I'm your host, and today we're exploring another crucial concept in personal and professional development the feedback gate. Last week, we discussed the opportunity gate, which helps us decide which opportunities to pursue, and today we're focusing on how to process and act upon that feedback that we receive. How to process and act upon that feedback that we receive. Despite its often negative connotation, feedback includes both positive and negative input, and the question is how do we decide which feedback is worthy of acting upon? And that's where the feedback gate comes in. Let's start by understanding what the feedback gate is. Essentially, it's a mental framework that helps us filter, evaluate and prioritize the feedback that we receive. It's about developing the discernment to know which feedback to take to heart, which to consider carefully and which to respectfully acknowledge, but perhaps not act upon.
01:41
Are you ready to transform your leadership style and skyrocket your team's success? Join the Likeable Leadership Accelerator by Dr Angela Buckley. In just eight weeks, you'll master the art of inspiring, motivating and connecting with your team. Learn to foster a positive work environment, boost productivity and become the leader everyone wants to follow. Do more than manage. Lead with confidence. Join the likable leadership accelerator today by booking a call at wwwstrengthinnaturecom. Limited space is available. So why is this important? In our interconnected world, we are constantly receiving feedback from bosses, colleagues, friends, family and even strangers on social media. While feedback can be incredibly valuable for growth, not all feedback is created equal. Some may be biased, misinformed or simply not relevant to our goals and values. The feedback gate helps us navigate these waters more effectively.
02:44
So what are the key elements of an effective feedback gate? Here are several crucial factors to consider. 1. The source. The source of the feedback matters. Is it coming from someone whose opinion you trust and respect? Do they have expertise in the area they are commenting on? If you are asking your friends and family about business things and they are not in business. You're not asking for feedback, you're asking for permission. So consider the source of the feedback and whether they have the skills and the background and the experience in order to provide you solid feedback.
03:24
Two, the context. What are the circumstances surrounding the feedback? Was it given in the heat of the moment or after careful consideration? This also matters. There's a lot of emotion associated with feedback from time to time. Understanding that emotions can last 90 seconds and then there's sort of a kickback afterwards, it is helpful to do more than just press pause. It's not just count to ten, it's take a breath, recognize that you need a few minutes to move on and make sure that you are providing the appropriate type of feedback and, in your case, receiving the appropriate type of feedback. So context is very important.
04:13
Three, the intention is the feedback meant to be constructive or does it seem to come from a place of negativity or personal bias? Again, we're considering context and source as well as intention in this case. Right, so does that person have good intentions for you and your success? How does that fit in? Three, the specificity Is the feedback vague or does it point to specific behaviors and outcomes If you've been around, overcome to Become or any of the writings from myself. You will have heard me talk about the spirit of acknowledgement. The S stands for specific and it is incredibly hard for people to be specific in providing feedback. It is the number one thing that I end up coaching and providing feedback on and working through with individuals after workshops being specific about the feedback as well as making sure that the feedback is actionable.
05:24
Five the frequency. Is this a one off comment or a part of a pattern that you've noticed from multiple sources? Important here is to consider multiple sources. If you are hearing something that is from multiple sources in multiple situations, there is a strong likelihood that it is a valid sense of feedback. A valid sense of feedback. And six your emotional response. How does it feel to get this feedback? Sometimes our initial emotional reaction can really cloud our judgment. Have we taken the opportunity to understand our own triggers and our own emotional responses? We do not have to make a decision on acting on the feedback in the moment. We can take some time and pause, and that is what we're talking about in creating a gate so that we can understand the feedback all together.
06:26
Critical here is to not answer back when people give you feedback In the moment, regardless, simply say thank you for your feedback and then you can take that and take it into consideration. That does not mean you have to accept it, it does not mean that you have to act upon it, but you can simply be generous and say thank you for your feedback, I will take it under consideration. There is no more commitment than that, and that is all that anyone ever has the right to ask of you. So let's walk through an example. Say you've just given a presentation at work and you receive feedback from three different colleagues. One says it was great, another says it was too long and the third suggests you need to work on your public speaking skills. How do you process this through your feedback gate?
07:22
First, consider the sources. Are these colleagues in a position to give you relevant feedback? Have they given helpful feedback before? And then look at the specificity. The great comment, while nice to hear, doesn't give you really much to work with. The length and the public speaking comments are more specific and potentially more actionable.
07:45
Next, you look for patterns. If you've heard similar comments about presentation length or speaking skills before, it might be worth paying attention to. However, if this is the first time. You've heard these comments, you might want to seek more opinions before asking me. You might want to seek more opinions before making changes. Also, it's okay to ask for clarity. How long is too long? Was it too long for this situation or was it too long in general?
08:18
You said public speaking skills. Does that mean my enunciation? Does it mean my body language? Did I not have the appropriate energy associated with the message that was being brought across? Feel free to ask clarifying questions. If someone has taken the time to provide some information and some feedback to you, they will be feeling appreciative when you ask clarifying questions and they are there to help. So we've asked for tips. We've asked to be a little more specific. We've asked clarifying questions. Here's something that I have found very helpful for me I write it all down, document it and I enter all that feedback into an AI system like ChatGBT or Google Gemini and ask to look for patterns. I find that AI can be more objective in its understanding of the feedback than I can be, and it provides good starting points for improvement. While being kind and if the prompt is written correctly, you can even say be nice when you provide this feedback and provide some actionable suggestions for me so you could write this prompt, something like this hey, ai, friend, I've received the following feedback on my presentations Be my speaking coach, friend. I've received the following feedback on my presentations be my speaking coach. Can you identify any patterns and suggest areas for improvement? Frame the suggestions in a constructive and encouraging way? This approach can help you see the bigger picture and identify trends that you might miss when you're processing feedback piece by piece.
10:04
Remember, the goal of the feedback gate isn't to dismiss criticism or only accept the positive feedback. It's great. It's about learning to evaluate feedback objectively and to use it as a tool for growth and improvement. One potential pitfall to watch out for is becoming defensive. It's natural to feel a bit hurt or defensive when receiving negative criticism, but try to approach the feedback with curiosity rather than judgment. Ask questions, seek clarification and try to understand the perspective of the person giving the feedback. Another risk is going to the other extreme and taking all the feedback as gospel truth. Remember, even well-intentioned feedback can sometimes be misguided or not applicable to your specific situation, and that's why it's crucial to run it through your feedback gate.
11:02
As we wrap up this episode, let's take a moment to reflect on the key takeaways and consider their broader implications. It's crucial to understand the feedback. It's crucial to develop a gate to decide whether we should act upon it or not, and it's crucial for us to explore options for improvement. And it's crucial for us to explore options for improvement. Thanks for listening today. This is Dr Angela J Buckley signing off for this week. Make it a great day. You've just concluded an episode of Overcome to Become, a leadership podcast focusing on leading yourself first. Thanks for listening. I'm Dr Angela Buckley, with Creatively Efficient, author of the Likeable Leadership series. To learn more about how to grow in gratitude and leadership, please sign up for my newsletter at wwwstrengthinnaturecom. That's wwwstrengthinnaturecom.
